Darker

I let it in.

I let it show.

I let myself feel—

and that hurts too much.

The pain screams in my head,

The pain echoes in my ears,

The pain laughed when I fled.

So I shove it down,

unable to look it in the face.

I paint the mirrors black,

so I can’t see my reflection.

I color the sky green,

and the grass blue.

I contort my vision,

so I don’t have to see it so clear.

I must become shallow

and unwanted—

so it doesn’t hurt when they leave.

It doesn’t hurt

if they were never here.

I hide my emotions,

turn a blind eye to my scars.

I hug my shadows close,

shield them from the light.

I stroke their hair

and whisper in their ears.

I guide them along—

as I become darker myself.